eggnotes

eggnotes - March 2000
thursday, 30 march
Amy's movie Blood is on IFilm. Visit, watch it, rate it! I appear in it bald and naked.
tuesday, 28 march
Amy's been chatting steadily with Devin, a guy who works with me, since he dropped by for dinner the other night. Today she discovered that he's never heard Jane's Addiction before, when Devin said "sex is violent."
I have like five Jane's Addiction live albums ripped to MP3 on my computer here at work, but none of their regular albums with me. So I had to decide which version of Ted, Just Admit It to pass him. I passed him the Ted from Carnival of Souls.
it's amazing, listening to this song again, I'm moved to tears, I'm choked up describing what this song, what this music has meant to me. It's been such a motivating force for me - it's kinda nuts. Listening to my favourite song out of my favourite concert, when they're playing it slow and digging into it, metal tools into my skin and I can't help but wince in my cubicle.
I get over it, there's more stuff to work on, and then, Amy sez egg: can you send me three days? I want to listen to it and I realize the only copy of Three Days I have is from their last show, and listening to that I get all choked up again. Each Perry wail each of Steven poundings, Dave's guitar and Eric's rolling bass - what a beautiful time. The way they hem and saw together! I trip over myself trying to articulate how that music makes me feel.
monday, 27 march
so many women I talk to see to say that their steady sex partners do not keep up with them sexually. This means: the men are happy having sex a few times a week and the women crave sex more frequently. The sex leaves the women in a better mood, that's part of it.
This definitely runs counter to the wisdom of Annie Hall, maybe Woody Allen is a sex fiend. After seeing Sleeper I gotta believe that.
Maybe it's an age thing, as women age their sexual temperment cools. And at this age men are headed in a dozen different directions not always physical/sexual.
I would urge myself to jump on the opportunity to take advantage of a ripe and ready woman. But I have some faith in the ups and downs of our sex life. We have dry phases for a few weeks and then we just slip into a total sexual mode with great frequency and intensity. And that's just fine with me. Cuz when it's on, it's on, and when it's not so on, it's very marvellous to lay with Amy.
Still I marvel that women at this age, mid-twenties, seem to outpace men sexually, when men are cast culturally as the sexual predators. Maybe the relationship circumstance encourages women to feel more intimacy and potential for physical coupling, and men are more animal when they are stalking fresh sex outside of familiar sexuality.
I'm not so excited to test that, these days I prefer the cycles of partnership.
friday 24 march
egg: he kissed this girl jay: tell me the story god dammit! egg: oh egg: he was in austin egg: i wish he would just write about it on his web page so I could point to it egg: her name is amy, he knew her before me, when he was on his "road trip" egg: he stayed with her while he was in texas egg: at that time egg: and they had sexual tension, but she had a BF egg: so nothing happened egg: but then egg: last week he went to south by southwest and stayed with her in austin again egg: and they drank a bunch of margaritas egg: and there was "tension" egg: and so there they stood, face to face, in her living room jay: and? and?! egg: staring drunkenly into each other's faces egg: and she said, you are with amy. egg: and he said, yep egg: and she said, but I feel...tension egg: and he said, yep so do I egg: and she said, so what do you want? whatre we doing? egg: and he said I dont know egg: and I guess then they frenched, and he went up her shirt a little, but didnt go up her bra egg: and then maybe he touched her ass or soemthing egg: and then he was like, uh I cant go farther than this jay: i can just hear him egg: and then they went and lay on a bed together, and she got up to go to the bathroom egg: and he passed out] jay: [emoticon] egg: ha jay: [emoticon] egg: stop that jay: well isn't that special egg: yeah egg: he said that if she just would have touched his dick she would have gotten a lot more of him egg: I keep wanting to give her an anonymous phone call to let her know jay: look, we gays have a much free-er perspective on these things egg: but then if he wouldve fucked her we'd be splitting up the cookware right now egg: freer perspective on what jay: on fucking other people jay: or wanting to egg: did I seem to have an un-free one? egg: I want to fuck other people every once in a while jay: I mean, I don't want Anthony going out and fucking other people, however if it happened, on some trip, and we discussed it, I think I'd get over it pretty quick. jay: sex becomes so meaningless after a while... unless there is more involved, betrayal, passion, that sort of thing. egg: yeah but knowing justins habit if he fucked some girl Id see it as a sign that he was gettting sick of me and we shouldnt live together egg: we probably wouldnt break up but egg: he's not really into fucking random people. so if he did, it would be a sign jay: i see
thursday 17 march
Amy saved a little bit of our love from a few months back. Here I have posted it:

I love talkin' to that gal.