ambiguity (12/8/94)

sometimes
I know I must leave you
or you will leave me
stranding
now aches,
i feel them
in pits of stomach and heart

how can someone
I know I love
be so far away
untouchable?

but when we meet!
the joy of joys, and singing
laughter, joy
again, joy
parted waters
reveal kindred soul-fish
sparkling wet
under a bright sun

to hope for a broader bridge
or an understanding
of your love,
I can't feel it sometimes,
and I get so cold.

am I to you as that?
I do what to leave you
so unsure of me
so unwilling
so two steps back,
hands up,
watching carefully

but you are still there
and sometimes
love seeps
between the boards
at your belt

am I to take your interest
your returns
as signs of affection
not quite diminished?

you send me love
stamped with great ambiguity!

my driven
to open those floodgates please
shower me
torrents of love
await behind those gates

but to ask
is to lose
rather to
slowly endear
but trust,
and belief
faith in soul

what have you in mine?

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