During the Senate Commerce Committee hearings on "Marketing Violence to Youth" you could sometimes hear the anger in the voices of the participating Senators. What if they'd just let their Frag Flag Fly and settled the hearing with an online deathmatch...
Gamers.com watched this week's "Kommerce Kommittee Killfest" deathmatch between the $enat0r clan and BigMeedia krew. It was a carnival of camping and cheap shots, where the $enat0rs just barely pulled ahead of the hard fighting BigMeedia gamers.
For its base, $enat0r clan used a large structure, with sixteen protected ledges for camping and sniping; BigMeedia played in the visitors fortress, an open ring surrounded by the $enat0r fortress. During this marathon six hour match many of the $enat0r clan came and left. The major killcounts belonged to [$enat0r] mcKaIn, [$enat0r] BrownBakk, and [$enat0r] Droggan. Famous fragger [$enat0r] 733berman showed up for some pot-shots but didn't stay on the server for long.
The BigMeedia krew was hurting for numbers. [SEGA] P.More, [akklaim] FishBack, [IDSA] LowerSteen were all in effect. A few of the MusicMavens represented, including [Artemis] GOLDBERG who fronted some serious rail skillz. Before the match started, $enat0r clan lined up a few substitute players for BigMeedia to even up the teams. This was a mixed blessing since the available PublikHelf Possee players took advantage of friendly fire rules to score some easy kills on the BigM33dia krew.
After the extensive $enat0r warmup, BigMeedia krew arrived on the map. Immediately [$enat0r] mcKaIn hit GOLDBERG with the shaft - "I find [marketing violence to children] patently offensive." Taking damage, GOLDBERG whirled around and hit mcKaIn with a rail; "...people have no moral or legal right to impose such a standard on my family or the millions of other Americans who, like George Bush, are comfortable with cursing." Crying out against campaign finance reform and special interests controlling government, mcKaIn side-stepped and melted GOLDBERG with his shaft.
Meanwhile P.More ran up the middle towards the entrance to the $enat0r fortress, slinging rockets and rhetoric - "It is neither practical nor fair to imply that we should bypass advertising media targeted to the gaming enthusiast simply because of the possibility of spillage to a younger demographic."
Guarding the door, BrownBakk fired a few grenades, "Stop making hyper-violent entertainment which glamorizes cruelty, degrades women, and trivializes abuse. And stop marketing such vile stuff to kids. Just stop it. You don't need to do it, it is morally wrong to do it, and you are hurting kids. So just stop." He then turned tail and ran for safer surroundings.
FishBack, ran up towards BrownBakk nailing him with two rails in a row. BrownBakk tried distracting FishBack with some merchandise unrelated to FishBack's video game products, but FishBack soon made meaty gibs of BrownBakk in one of the great standoffs of the day. Impressive.
FishBack regrouped with P.More and GOLDBERG and they made a run for the inside of the $enat0r base. BrownBakk and Droggan were camped in a killer spot, asking repeatedly from deep inside the fortress "Can't you name a word or an image that you wouldn't publish?" Rushing towards BrownBakk and Droggan, GOLDBERG was killed, then FishBack, then P.More. They respawned, regrouped, and tried again to penetrate the $enat0r defenses. No luck. The standoff dragged on until finally Fishback, P.More and GOLDBERG were booted off the server by their service provider, and BrownBack and Droggan declared the need for a code of conduct in the entertainment industry.
Only [IDSA] LowerSteen was able to represent for >VG posse3<; the PublikHelf Possee filled in for the booted >VG posse3< members. LowerSteen stepped up with his grenade launcher but PublikHelf surrounded him and blasted him before he could get to any ammo. There was plenty of carnage and extreme firefighting, but the final scores were close. The $enat0r clan eked out a victory, 73 to 67, and the six kills in the balance were scored against afk -<{Mmmm0veee Men}>- players.
