11 March, 1995
slept at chandra's castro valley, a little sick (sore throat, intestines). Had dinner with her dad - salmon fettuchine with white, red, white wine. Ended up nocturnally emitting, but I'm not sure when.Hanging out in a semi-campus scene - no classes but revolving interaction of young people - mostly young women and the parker high school fellas at one point - serg, guy, richard.suzie, freshman girl from swarthmore gave me a CD of her masturbating and talking sexual - she wanted to establish that rappor with me and was disappointed that I hadn't already gotten into it. I thought the idea of a masturbation partner was a nice one.
I kept on getting hit on by different women, and each successive one would be looked at with humour and knowing by the last.
I snuk down into a basement of swarthmore to use a bathroom, in a place I had been told was offlimits and I scared this worker who was down there who was retarted or something - and had been set to work in this off limits space behind a trashbag door. When I discovered him, I began to flee, but he pursued me with his indignancy and we talked and I had no excuse and he was justifyably upset. He was a black gentleman, with cornrows ending in one or two inch tails out from his neck. He felt threatened and angry by my disregard for his college-supported desire to avoid contact. He ended up leaving the space, as he followed me out talking to me.
dancing with a drunk dad, in front of mom - to jazz - the two of us going off, going great, similar and yet different, his style was similar and yet his own and it was affirming and liberating, and I was so happy. And I was this age. And before we danced he was a confident, sloppy drunk, me and him over a chess board and mom getting tired of him. We shook similar, but coordinated.I was at some special version of swarthmore, living with someone, and military guys living near me. I had to explain to a table seated group of my peers and teachers why I had taken time off and why I had been a disruption in a class. After a heartfelt speech, they felt positive towards me, and commended my use of language.
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