s e x
In cyberspace, nobody knows if you're masturbating!
Sex stuff online seems strange - harnessing the most powerful worldwide communications technology for human pursuits. Rather than taking offense, or mindless disembodied indulgence, how about frank and healthy discussion of sexuality online and online sexuality? It probably beats prostitution.
(I'll start with my own)
(name's justin, by the way.
in terms of definitions, which I by and large should avoid but never the less persue in some attempts at definitionbesides that one primal weekend, I have had some three way action
I guess I would say I'm a predominantly hetero bisexual.
aren't most folks?
being at swarthmore has made me more queer-conscious; something about the modern american college experience, and multicultural identity politics.sometimes I fantasize about penises when I masturbate. I dunno - that pulsing throbbing blood filled totem can be kind of exciting.
I've only fooled around with a guy once - on some cocaine and jager a mutual friend urged us together - no real attraction had on my part existed prior to that event, but I was game
we kissed some, no big deal - his beard kind of bothered my face
we grabbed each other's penises and jerked each other off for a while - next to me two friends were having very agressive sex - the woman facing me being deeply plunged into from the side
after a while I was more interested in kissing some around with her than this pushy fellow to my left. I stopped stroking him, he continued to try and stimulate me. after a while, well, it was animal. I wasn't so into him, but he was humping my leg, insistent. I wasn't turned on, and I set my mind against cumming. i guess that's what it feels like sexually to be a woman sometimes.
after the drugs wore off, I felt kind of weird, so I got up and went home.
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couldn't sleep that well, told my girlfriend at the time - she slapped me and then we had my first time at anal sex. that was weird - another primal moment, a turn on in the mind more than anything else.
I left her place soon thereafter and made my first radio show with more than one song playing at once - it had been too wild a weekend to sit through whole songs.
which is great, it's exciting to have that much sexual energy around - but difficult too. hard to manage people's expectations for affection and exhultation when there's so much going on. of course, it can be exciting to be in even larger magnifications of sexuality, sex performance parties can have a whole lot of raucus energy, depending. For example, the Department H party in Tokyo.
I must say it's pretty exciting to watch women fool around. hasn't happened to me much, a little maybe, but I know that when I read erotica, lesbian erotica somehow turns me on. when I was sixteen and I tried writing the stuff, that's what I wrote as well. 
It's always about participation and awareness!
wish I could find those old stories!
I know I was good at writing up until the going got gooey. that's when things get weird - once the seduction's moved into production. kali.
other than that, you'll find me naked and crossdressin' some, cuz that's all fun. there's really somethin' percolating havin' some guy hit on you, hear your voice, and question his masculinity.
something that keeps me from really getting into homosexual sex I think is a fear of losing it - that I might never return from somehow the debasement. when I think about penises, I think some about submission, I know I'd probably be on the bottom, and I wonder if I'd ever get up. that was where thomas seemed to be.
like with traditional women, I like to lay down. I don't know about this missionary position stuff, things seem more exciting when she has freedom of motion. at least they are for me.
I like breasts a lot. some of my girlfriends think I have a breast fetish. rya drew a connection between that and not being breastfed. i dunno, but visually breasts turn me on. i remember one of my coworkers at bcg wouldn't ever really look at his female boss in the face, he'd just stare at her tits the whole time she was talking. i hope i'm not that bad. i try to be sly when some girlie's got some tight shirt on. it's one of the great unanswered (unanswerable?) questions of my life - do they want you to look or not? and the answer is yes to both. and i'd probably be a greater stud if i didn't look; i'm getting better. cuz then if they want you to look they have to work harder for it.
i'll tell you, sex stuff is crazy like that.
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july '96, finally went to my first, the flamingo strip club in lawrence kansas. i didn't get a lap dance that time (not until later, and i just didn't do too well dealing with the commerce and the girl was trying to get me off by giggling superfast and that was dumb). that first time, i went with a woman and sat with the women of the club and learned a lot. i've found that long term lovin' can make for great sex. i mean my pushing and a huggin' is driven harder and softer by my love for a girl. it's the best sex i've ever had, because i can talk to her. it's just an extension.
monogamy can be tough though, and if you're too active, you might get a disease, or catdick maybe.
justin hall | <justin at bud dot com>